Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Changing "is" to a Stronger Verb

While we practiced changing "is" to a stronger verb in class, it might help to explain in writing why it makes the essay stronger.

Using a verb that better conveys the action of the sentence makes the sentence more interesting to the reader!

For example, students will need to use outside sources for their Research Paper. Some students might try to use "is" to refer to what the author communicates.

This author is trying to tell readers how the economy will fail soon.

Instead, try rewriting the above sentence with a stronger verb...

This author tries to tell readers how the economy will fail soon.

This author attempts to tell readers how the economy will fail soon.

Readers can be impatient compared to someone who is listening to a spoken argument. If they read smaller words such as "is" they get bored quickly.

In addition, sometimes it becomes tiresome to see the same words over and over again in an essay. If the author uses a wide variety of words, the reader will appreciate it.

One more example...

The instructor for this class is more strict on essays than last semester.

The instructor for this class grades essays more strictly than last semester.


It looks and sounds better for the reader to see "grades" instead of "is" as the verb.

Eliminating "is" completely might be impossible, especially for students at the English 101 level (whether they are in the MW class or TTH), but cutting down on the verb will help essays from a stylistic standpoint. The effort will be noticed.




Revised April Schedule

Several tweaks were made to the April schedule.

Mapping out what the class will do in April and the accompanying due dates four months beforehand is not easy. Here is the new schedule...

Revised April Schedule

MW 9:10 and 10:25 classes
March 30 -
LIB 114

April 4 - In-class Essay No. 4

April 6 - Blackboard #10

April 11 - Annotated Bibliography

April 13 - Introduction to Research Paper (to share with neighbor and just so I can see it's not way off)
April 13 - Blackboard #11

April 20 - Rough Draft (hopefully a longer one)

April 27 - Research Paper Final Draft
April 27 - In-class Essay No. 5

TTH ESL 8:40 class

Revised March/April Schedule
March 31 -
LIB 114

April 5 - In-class Essay No. 4

April 7 - Blackboard #10

April 12 - Quiz No. 4, Annotated Bibliography

April 14 - Introduction to Research Paper (to share with neighbor and so I can see it's not way off)
April 14 - Blackboard #11

April 21 - Quiz No. 5, Rough Draft (hopefully a longer one)

April 28 - Research Paper Final Draft
April 28 - In-class Essay No. 5

Then, we part ways! Forever.

Annotated Bibliography Directions

Annotated Bibliography (40 Points)

(Work on this before the Research Paper)
Also known as an “Annotated Works Cited
Due Dates 

MW Classes: April 11
TTH ESL:        April 12
Accepted late for a 10-point penalty
Underneath each source entry is a description of the source and justification for why it’s used for the Research Paper. Needs to be one substantial paragraph each!
3 or more sources (at least 2 must be “academic”)
The sources will be the same ones used for the Research Paper.
MLA Format
*You are not tied down to the sources used for this. The Annotated Bibliography is meant to encourage students to start their research earlier.

Research Paper Directions

Research Paper (200 Points)
Choose your own topic and make an argument!
MLA Format 4-7 pages
Due by last class meeting (physical copy)
MW Classes: April 27
TTH ESL:        April 28
Alternatively, it can be turned into my box in the Humanities Office by April 29
Bring Introduction on April 13 (to share with neighbor)
       MW Classes: April 13
TTH ESL:        April 14
Bring Rough Draft on April 20
       MW Classes: April 20
TTH ESL:        April 21
Needs 3 or more overall sources (2 must be “academic”)
Proper in-text citation (cite all quotations, statistics, unusual facts)
Must demonstrate quote integration from outside sources
Works Cited page required
*Restrictions*
No abortion, legal drinking age or marijuana topics allowed

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Story / Thesis Statement

At CSU Stanislaus, I had one professor (Dr. Molly Crumpton Winter) who really drove home the idea of making the thesis interesting while establishing importance.

She had this lecture on how someone could turn in an essay that looked perfect from a structure and grammar standpoint, and still score poorly because the importance of the thesis statement was not established.

In fact, she was by far my harshest critic and always gave one letter grade less than any other professor in the CSU Stanislaus English Department. For a long time, I had this theory she graded my essays low on purpose because she did not like me.

Perhaps she told the truth while the other instructors let my mistakes slide.

Even though this Film Analysis is a compare/contrast essay, try to offer a little something on why it's important to study the chosen topic/thesis statement.

It could be as simple as "Through excellent character development, Titanic offers a more compelling love story than found in 50 Shades of Grey. Subsequently, Titanic lasts forever, while 50 Shades is forgotten easily." 

Well, maybe the above thesis could be more interesting.

In the MW 10:35 class, one student plans to write her essay about how the movie Avatar may or may not have stolen ideas from Fern Gully. It just sounded interesting because I had no clue Avatar allegedly ripped off another movie. I wanted to know if it really did.

Apparently, there is a debate about this topic with numerous articles written on it already, which gives this particular student an advantage because she has tons of outside (hopefully legitimate) sources to gain ideas from.

On a side note, I took Dr. Winter three times at CSU Stanislaus and never received an A. The closest grade ended up being an A-. She taught me more though and remains a huge influence in how I write today.



Thursday, March 17, 2016

Film Analysis, Compare/Contrast Essay Structure

Film Analysis Directions:
http://english99-101.blogspot.com/2016/03/film-analysis-directions.html


As long as an essay flows logically from one paragraph to the next (and contains an introduction, thesis, body paragraphs and conclusion), the structure is probably fine.


Read the paper out loud when it's done.

It seems silly, but reading essays and articles out loud works as my best method for making sure everything flows and connects from one paragraph to the next.

I did this for every essay at UC Santa Barbara and CSU Stanislaus.

In case students would like a definitive structure for the Film Analysis though, I recommend the point-by-point method or block method. I wrote this example in an email (and tweaked it slightly after reading it over).

----------


In the point-by-point method, the body paragraphs would be dictated by the common themes in each movie.

Ex. Cinderella and Frozen

Introduction
-Thesis

- Define key words or place any context in the introduction or right before the analysis


Love
Body Paragraph 1 - Love in Cinderella
Body Paragraph 2 - Love in Frozen

Magic
Body Paragraph 3 - Magic in Cinderella
Body Paragraph 4 - Magic in Frozen

Conclusion

That's a simplified example.

Again, there may be other ways to arrange the body paragraphs as long as there is a logical flow from one paragraph to the next. If it were my paper, I would not think about the method and simply concentrate on making sure everything links together and reads naturally.

Also, the discussion about each theme can go on for more than one paragraph.


In fact, there are an unlimited number of body paragraphs allowed (within the 3-5 page limit).

Also, about the Thesis/Main Point, what can I learn after reading about the two movies? For example, if it was Cinderella and Frozen, I would learn that some Disney themes never change.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Integrating Quotations Explanation No. 2

I wrote this as an email to a student.

In case it helps anyone, I will post it here too.

Read this website again for the format of integrating quotations.

Outside quotations are used in the body paragraphs, generally somewhere in the middle, to help support the main point of the essay.

Let's say (just as an example)...I am discussing in one body paragraph the realistic effects found in the Resident Evil movie. I can take a quote from this article on Variety written by Scott Foundas.

http://variety.com/2002/more/reviews/resident-evil-1200550909/

" ... relies more on prosthetic makeup and animatronic f/x than on digital technology, giving pic’s zombies and other assorted monsters a more organic sense of form and movement."

Now, here is my body paragraph in blue...

Contrary to what some believe, the movie Resident Evil does offer some nice special effects which make the film a more realistic experience than the video game.

I just need to add the part from the article, which I highlighted in purple, and weave it into my paragraph

Contrary to what some believe, the movie Resident Evil does offer some nice special effects which make the film a more realistic experience than the video game. For example, in one old Variety article from 2002, the reviewer wrote that Resident Evil " ... relies more on prosthetic makeup and animatronic f/x than on digital technology, giving pic’s zombies and other assorted monsters a more organic sense of form and movement" (Foundas).

I also should explain the quote afterwards. I want to add this line below in gray...which are my own words...

Therefore, the movie gives a sense of realism that some viewers may not expect because the producers do not rely solely on computer graphics.

I'm going to add it as the explanation.

Contrary to what some believe, the movie Resident Evil does offer some nice special effects which make the film a more realistic experience than the video game. For example, in one old Variety article from 2002, the reviewer wrote that Resident Evil " ... relies more on prosthetic makeup and animatronic f/x than on digital technology, giving pic’s zombies and other assorted monsters a more organic sense of form and movement" (Foundas). Therefore, the movie gives a sense of realism that some viewers may not expect because they do not rely solely on computer graphics.


In the body paragraphs, lead into any outside quotes with your own words.

Then, insert the quote by weaving into another sentence.

Then after the quote is inserted, explain and analyze.

"I think" and "In my opinion"

Students might notice I tend to cross out "I think" and "In my opinion" on essays.

I understand why they're used. Ask the average person on the Internet, and they will explain "I think" and "In my opinion" are used as a form of politeness when posting opinions on message boards.

They add nothing of significant value to the sentence though.

Think about this...

If someone at the racetrack came and said "I think No. 5 will win the next race," that would be an opinion right?

If someone at the racetrack came and said "No. 5 will win the next race," it would still be the same opinion!

At least, the second guy sounds confident in his thoughts. Also, by using "I think" and "In my opinion," the author is taking away attention from the actual topic and placing it on the author, which is a bit distracting.

So, try to minimize or eliminate altogether "I think" and "In my opinion."

Film Analysis Directions

In the Ad Analysis, a couple of students didn't address the advertisements directly, which affected their score. Someone can write a fantastic essay, but if it doesn't follow the prompt (or directions), then it misses the point.

So...if you are lost on the directions for the Film Analysis, ask me!

Following directions affects the score, no matter how great the essay is.

Film Analysis (125 points)
Final Draft – March 28 (for MW class) or March 29 (for ESL)
Peer Review Day – March 21 or 22

*It is possible the ESL class will not have a formal "peer review" day, but bring them anyway.
3-5 pages MLA Format

Choose from 1 of 3 options:
1) Compare/contrast 2-4 movies from the same genre
2) Compare/contrast two similar fictional movie characters from the same genre.
3) Compare/contrast a movie and its book, TV show or video game counterpart
•4) Compare/contrast a movie to actual history (ex. Disney Pocahontas to real-life Pocahontas)
Even though it’s compare/contrast, try to have an interesting thesis statement!
One outside source (or more) required!
Demonstrate how to integrate a quotation within a sentence, at least once or more.
Works Cited page

Choosing a Legitimate Outside Source

Today, I want to discuss the outside source.

The Film Analysis will have at minimum one outside source besides the movies. A line needs to be taken from the outside source and integrated within the essay at least once or more (with a lead-in and explanation afterwards of course). I've shown the formatting for integrating quotes more than once.

At the higher levels of English, students need to use outside sources to a much greater extent. By looking at a source and analyzing...looking at another source and analyzing...looking at another source and analyzing...English majors are researching every opinion out there before coming to their own conclusion. It is practically the only way we reach the 20-page minimum requirement for most of our essays in graduate school.

The process is not too dissimilar from the Blackboard assignments where students look at the article and what other students wrote in addition to their own 250-word post.

What is a legitimate outside source?

For the Film Analysis, it could be a professional journalist (film critic or other writers found on news websites). For example, the Disney article used for Blackboard #7 is a legitimate source because it is found on a respected news website (Vanity Fair). Just be careful of any huge bias that might appear on a news website.

It would look great though if the source could come from an academic journal, and this will be a requirement for the Research Paper in April.

Where do you find sources from an academic journal?

As I wrote or said before, JSTOR was my favorite website throughout UC Santa Barbara and CSU Stanislaus. Just type in a topic and usually something written by a scholarly elite will show up. English professors at the higher levels want the source to come from someone in academics.

In case that doesn't work, the library website has links to more "academic search engines."

http://www.jefferson.kctcs.edu/en/About_Us/Library/Articles.aspx

Besides JSTOR, I'd recommend EBSCOHost out of that list.

Can Sentences Start with "Which"?



At the high levels of writing, (upper-class English majors and graduate-level) students do not think about a lot of the problems/mistakes seen at the lower levels. We do things correctly automatically and our focus lies more in the essay ideas.

Once I read the essay, I understand what went wrong with the grammar/punctuation mistakes a lot better.

Here is something I notice though.

Students like to start sentences with "which" a lot.

The man saw the double rainbow. Which caused him to lose his mind.


Combine them.

The man saw the double rainbow, which caused him to lose his mind.



In some instances, starting the sentence with "which" is okay, especially when the writer is trying to make a point. It is supposed to be used that way sparingly though and I do not believe students are doing it sparingly on purpose in my classes.

Read this Grammar Girl article for further explanation.

http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/can-you-start-a-sentence-with-%E2%80%9Cwhich%E2%80%9D

I actually played the Double Rainbow video for my MW 10:35 class. (As for why, I guess that is a bit questionable!)

Introduction Sequence

I went over this before, but just in case, I'm going to write this here.

When writing an essay using supporting research, this is the correct introduction sequence...

1st part - The topic, or for this essay the movies being discussed
2nd part - What others have said...what the common assumptions are
3rd part - Thesis statement

The introduction can be 1 or 2 paragraphs.

Let's use the Disney example again. I want to write that Disney movies today are vastly different than before, and I'm going to use 2 movies to show this.

Example paragraph...

Evolved sounds like the right term to use for Disney movies. Take Cinderella and Frozen, two classics from different generations. One movie features a lonely girl who lives with her abusive sisters and finds the right man to spend the rest of her life with. The other showcases the love of two sisters over any other romantic subplot. While others believe Disney movies are similar in many ways today, changes are slowly taking over. Compared to the 1950s, current Disney movies are more varied in plot and themes, giving a wider range of characters for children to look up to.


As I wrote, this is a simplified example and the introduction can go on for 2 paragraphs. It's not a good idea to keep it going for longer than 2 paragraphs, especially when the paper is limited to 3-5 pages.

Integrating Quotations

I'm going to give this demonstration again because it's important for those looking for an A in the Film Analysis.

You need one outside source to help support the essay.

This means searching for a legitimate author, possibly a journalist or another professor, who wrote about the same topic.

Let's say I'm writing about Disney fairy tales and I want to write that Disney movies were mostly the same in the past. I can take a quote from the Vanity Fair article I showed everyone to support my argument.

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2014/12/disney-killed-fairy-tale-romance

Example...

Disney movies in the 1950s are similar to each other. (My line)

But, what if I wanted to "integrate" a quote to support that line?

Disney movies in the 1950s are similar to each other. Other authors feel the same way, and one Vanity Fair writer even wrote "Instead, the fairy tale was long ago turned into its own subgenre of the wider romance category, a magical and fantastical exploration of worlds where men are princes, women are princesses, and kisses have the power to do, well, just about anything" (Erbland).

Do you see how I weaved the purple part into it?

And there is also supposed to be an analysis of the quotation after the purple.

The outside quotes would work better in the body paragraphs too, rather than the introduction or conclusion, as they are supposed to support specific details about what the essay is explaining.